Talking about funerals isn’t something most people look forward to. It can feel a bit uncomfortable. But having the conversation now can make things much easier later. It brings peace of mind, helps your family understand your wishes, and can even save money. 

At The Farewell Guide, we’ve helped thousands of people plan ahead with less stress. This guide is here to help you start the conversation, keep it simple, and use our free tools to make it even easier. 

Why It Matters 

Talking about funeral wishes has real benefits. 

It reduces stress 

When people know what their loved one wanted, they don't have to guess. That means fewer worries and more confidence in the decisions they make. 

It avoids confusion and overspending 

A clear plan means your family can avoid rushed choices or expensive upgrades they didn’t expect. 

It makes the farewell more meaningful 

Your funeral should reflect who you are. The music, readings, and style of service should feel personal. 

When to Bring It Up 

There’s never a perfect time, but some moments can make it easier: 

• When writing or updating a will 

• After attending someone else’s funeral 

• Around milestone birthdays or retirement 

• When sorting out finances or insurance 

It also helps to choose a quiet, comfortable time. Maybe a relaxed chat over tea, a walk together, or a phone call when you both have time. 

How to Start the Conversation 

Here are a few ways to gently open the topic, depending on your situation. 

If you’re a parent speaking to adult children or an older person speaking to a younger relative or loved one: 
"I’ve been thinking about putting a few things in writing for the future. Could we have a chat sometime about what I’d want for my funeral?" 

If you're speaking to your partner: 
"We’ve sorted out our insurance. Maybe it’s also time to note down what we’d each want for our funerals, just so the kids aren’t left guessing." 

If you're an adult child speaking to a parent or older relative/loved one: 
"When Uncle John passed, it was hard making choices. I’d love to know what you’d want when the time comes, if you’re comfortable sharing." 

Or, if talking about it feels too difficult at first… 
You can use The Farewell Guide to quietly create your own plan in your own time. It’s free, private, and easy to use. Once you’ve filled in your wishes and important contacts, you can email the plan to your family with just one click. It’s a gentle way to start the conversation without sitting everyone down straight away. Often, that small nudge opens the door to more meaningful discussions later. 

What to Expect and How to Handle It 

Not everyone will feel ready to talk right away. That's okay. Here are a few things to keep in mind: 

• Listen without interrupting. Let people speak freely, and repeat back what you’ve heard to show you understand. 

• Expect some emotion. It’s normal for people to feel sad, worried, or even want to joke a little. 

• Be patient. You don’t have to sort everything out in one go. You can come back to it later. 

• Respect different views. Everyone has their own preferences, and that’s part of what makes this conversation important. 

What Should You Talk About? 

It’s not about ticking every box all at once. But here are some useful topics to cover over time. 

1. Burial or cremation 

2. Type of service – religious, humanist, simple, or no service at all 

3. Personal touches – favourite music, readings, dress code 

4. Budget – how much should be spent and where it might come from 

5. People – who should be there, should it be livestreamed, what kind of wake 

6. Documents – where important things like the will, insurance, or plan are kept 

At The Farewell Guide, we offer a free step-by-step planner that walks you through all of this and more. You can save your answers, update them any time, and share them with family when you're ready. 

Talking Across Cultures and Generations 

Different backgrounds often come with different funeral traditions. It’s good to ask open questions like: 

"Are there any family or cultural traditions you’d like to include in your send-off?" 

You might also notice different views between age groups: 

• Older generations might lean towards a traditional church service 

• Younger people often focus on sustainability and cost 

• Some might want a formal event, others a laid-back celebration of life 

Talking together helps find the right balance. 

Put It in Writing 

Once you’ve had the conversation - or created a plan online - it’s important to make sure it’s accessible. 

• Use The Farewell Guide planner to keep everything in one place 

• Shre the plan directly to family members, friends or solicitors 

• Keep a printed copy with your will or other legal documents 

• Update it whenever things change  

What About the Cost? 

Funerals in the UK now average over £4,000. It’s good to have a plan for how yours will be paid for. 

Here are a few common options: 

• Savings or insurance – set aside funds or use a policy 

• Prepaid funeral plans – lock in today’s prices with a regulated plan 

• Funeral budgeting tools – our planner shows estimated costs as you go 

The Farewell Guide lets you compare real prices from funeral providers in your area, so you have a clear view of what’s out there. 

Life Changes. So Should the Plan. 

Once you’ve had the conversation, you’re not finished forever. Life keeps changing, and your plan can too. 

• When someone close to you dies, it can prompt a new look at your own wishes 

• If you move, marry, or go through health changes, revisit your plan 

• You can update your plan any time with The Farewell Guide. We keep your earlier versions saved too, just in case 

How We Can Help at The Farewell Guide 

Here’s how we make funeral planning simpler: 

What You Can Say to Get Started 

Here’s a simple script you can adapt: 

"I’ve been thinking about the future, and I’d really like to make things easier for you if something ever happened to me. I found this free planner on The Farewell Guide – it helps record my wishes step by step. Would you be open to having a quick chat about it sometime this week?" 

You don’t have to say everything at once. Just open the door. 

Final Thoughts 

It’s not easy to talk about funerals. But it’s much harder for families when they’re left unsure. Planning ahead is one of the most caring things you can do. 

At The Farewell Guide, we believe that every person deserves a goodbye that feels right. We’re here to help make that possible – with free tools, honest advice, and no pressure. 

Start your plan today and give your loved ones a clear, thoughtful gift they’ll truly appreciate. 
 

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